13. How Human Design Helped Me to Heal My People Pleasing Behaviors

ON THIS EPISODE

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the High Vibe Heather Podcast. I'm your host, High Vibe Heather, and today I'm going to talk about the topic of how human design helped me to heal my people-pleasing behaviors. So, what is human design?

Human design is the science of differentiation, and it's all about leaning into your individuality, learning about who you are and what makes you different and unique.

We live in a society that attempts to homogenate us, make us all fit into this cookie-cutter mold. And I personally believe it's for the sake of capitalism, so that we can create efficiency for that system to thrive. But it comes at the cost of us as individuals living into our unique purpose and what we are here to do, more importantly, who we are here to be.

So, in human design, there are five different energy types, and each of these energy types describes how you will best operate in the world, according to the energy that you have in your system. So human design, in the most simplest terms, is a combination of astrology and the chakra system.

So the chakra system, if you're not familiar, is the energy system of the body. So we have this physical body that we exist in. We're very familiar with, because this is where our five senses, where we contact those.

So the aura is a biomagnetic field of energy that surrounds our body. And this is where the chakra system connects in our physical body through our nervous system. And so it's sending and receiving information between our environment and our physical body.

Information that we then intuitively, instinctively use to move through the world. So when I was first introduced to human design, I was deeply hungry for finding my own sense of purpose in the world. And through human design, I was affirmed in the fact that I actually did have a purpose. And we all do. This purpose is called our Dharma. It is our mission in life.

What we came here to complete. And our Dharma is fulfilled through living into our authenticity. Through being the most authentic, individuated version of ourselves.

So obviously as people pleasers, we are not living into our authenticity for a number of reasons. Because we are doing things to please others over ourselves. And the definition of people pleasing is to prioritize the needs and desires of others over your own personal needs and desires.

And so as someone who really struggled with people pleasing, I was consistently self abandoning. And through this self abandonment, I lost connection to myself and who I truly was, what I truly wanted for myself, and the direction of my own life. I felt lost in my life because I had become so disconnected from myself.

So the way that human design helped me overcome people pleasing was, it reconnected me to that sense of purpose. Through helping me to reconnect with my own body and my own life. See, because human design is our energetic blueprint, it has to do with how we feel in our bodies.

It's how our instincts and our intuition speak to us, so that we know which way to go, and what to do, and which opportunities are right for us. I, personally, am a manifesting generator in human design, which means I have my sacral center defined. So those of us who are sacral beings, who have our sacral center defined, that makes up about 70% of the population.

When something's right for us, when it feels correct for us, we get a gut response that is pulling us towards that thing, or it feels like a rise in our energy. Where some people even hear an audible uh-huh, because we're all so unique. We have different ways of interpreting and feeling into this energy.

But when we follow that gut response, and we move towards those things that actually feel good to us and feel right to us, then we are moving towards our path of purpose. We are living into our dharma because we are meant to do the things that light us up, that excite us, that help us to feel most like ourselves.

And the way the sacral center works is pretty interesting because it's a motor center. It is in tune with the amount of energy that you have in any given moment. So even if you're excited about something, but you're too tired, you don't have enough energy to actually complete it in the moment when it's presented, it doesn't mean that it's a no forever. It just means a no right now.

So sacral beings, they operate best when given alternative options on a binary, a yes no kind of option or this or that. They have to have something to respond to, that gut response. So, when I began to tune in to my own gut response and to get out of my head and all of that mental chatter that was going on for me and reconnect the sensations in my body, I was no longer making decisions based out of what I think I should be doing or out of obligation or to please other people.

Now, it was about making decisions that felt right to me, that felt good inside my own body. And what's interesting is when I would ignore that, when I would ignore those sensations, and I would agree to do something that I didn't really want to do, I would feel deeply pained. I would feel completely frustrated.

And it was like this alarm bell was going off inside of me of like, what are you doing? This is not what you are meant to be doing right now. And for me, it's at a place this many years into my experiment with human design, where it's really painful for me to ignore those sensations.

And so because people pleasers have such a hard time creating boundaries for themselves, they want to maintain connection with others at all costs. And that causes them to self abandon, and to ignore your own needs. Well, when I really paid attention to what my energy, my own system, where it was guiding me, how it was directing me, I couldn't ignore those painful feelings anymore.

And that helped me to begin to develop boundaries, because I would notice that sense of frustration, which for a sacral being, that's your feeling theme that shows you that you're out of alignment. And I would begin to feel resentful. Again, another clue that you need to create boundaries.

So it helped me to develop boundaries around my time and my energy by tuning in to these sensations that I was feeling inside of myself. It reconnected me to what was actually going on inside of my body, instead of ignoring it. Becoming attuned to my body again really helped me to develop my intuition on a deeper level.

We all have intuition. It's just a matter of if we're paying attention to it or not. So I began to realize that I knew a lot more than what I had been giving myself credit for. And these hunches that I was having were actually correct whether I wanted them to be or not.

And through that, when I started to really trust my knowing and act on it, I began to resolve my anxiety. Because anxiety is a symptom of having this cognitive dissonance, this believing two conflicting things at once.

And so when I was able to really drop in and trust my knowing and move with it, it helped me to deepen my intuitive abilities. And then this anxiety started to dissipate because I was really trusting myself. So as I said before, the aura is a biomagnetic field that's surrounding your body.

And this biomagnetic field is either attracting things to you or repelling them from you. And when we are living into our individuality on our path of purpose, doing the things that feel good and right to us, that light us up, then we are strengthening the attraction for more of the good things that we want to come into us. And we are repelling the things that aren't in alignment with us.

Another way I've heard the aura described is, you know, it's like the atmosphere around the earth. But another analogy would be like, it's a boundary, no? So boundaries are so important in helping us to strengthen the magnetism of our aura.

I've heard this phrase that no is the most magnetic word. And that's because when we are willing to say no to the things that are not correct for us, we are creating space for more of what is correct for us to land. And a lot of what I've been saying is specific to sacral beings, people who have their sacral center defined. So that would be generators and manifesting generators. But this also applies to all of the energy types.

So for projectors, it would be around like waiting for that acknowledgement, which is your invitation to step into something, instead of having this fear that you're going to miss out, and inserting yourself into things only to be overlooked and being left with that sense of bitterness that you weren't acknowledged for your efforts, and you've wasted your energy on something that somebody else ends up getting the credit for, or overworking yourself out of obligation because you weren't paying attention to how tired you are, and your need for rest, and causing yourself burnout,

And for manifestors that needing to create the energetic agreement through informing others of what your plans are before taking action, so that they can support you instead of blocking you.

And for reflectors, which is less than 1% of the population, having the patience to wait that full lunar cycle before making major decisions, and again, not having that fear of missing out, or rushing into something, and then living in chaos because you didn't wait for all the information to come in, and you're constantly having to course correct.

So this applies to all of the different energy types within the human design system, where we have these tendencies when we're people pleasing to just do what we think we have to do to make other people happy versus really sitting in our power, our seat of power, and moving from that place and making our decisions from that place, of what's best for me. And knowing that when you are honoring yourself first, when you are prioritizing your needs and desires, that it's really what's best for everyone.

Because we don't live in a vacuum. And when we are living in to our purpose, when we are living in to our Dharma, it's about being of service to the whole, of the collective of humanity. It's not about serving the loudest, most annoying person who we just want to get off our back in that moment.

It's about playing the long game. And in doing so, know that we are serving humanity at the highest level. So when we can take in that 20,000 foot view of things, let's take a step back and look at things from that bigger picture and recognize that each of us has a specific role that we are here to play in service of all.

And the more we live into our individuality through being authentic to ourselves, the better we are able to serve the collective. So human design, that's what it's all about.

It's really attuning you to your own unique path through helping you to live in to your authentic nature, giving you a roadmap to how your energetic system is designed to communicate with you and to best operate in the world at large by putting us into contact with ourselves, our physical bodies, our intuition, growing and deepening that we are living from this place of our minds that are constantly telling us these stories about what we have to do in order to please other people.

So the more that I've lived into my authenticity, the more fulfillment I have felt in my life. And through that, I have been able to let go of a lot of these behaviors, these people-pleasing behaviors that were sabotaging me and keeping me stuck, making the same decisions over and over again, living out these unconscious patterns, which is really karma. Until I finally learned, recognized those patterns, was able to let them go.

It's just so important to really reconnect with yourself on that level and prioritize yourself, because through prioritizing your relationship with yourself, that is how you can create and experience reciprocal relationships with others.

When you are consistently self-abandoning and ignoring yourself and living for other people, you will continuously be taken advantage of and manipulated, and you will be spreading your energy out everywhere, saying yes to everyone and everything, and you will have no time and energy left for you to do the things that you are here to do, to feel good about your life and your path.

And through that energy, that good feeling, raising your vibration to a place where being in your presence gives other people permission to do the same, to live into their authenticity, to feel good about their life path and what they're doing and where they're going.

When you can live into this, it really is a gift to both yourself and everyone around you, which is why human design is such a profound tool for healing your life and bringing you back into contact with who you are here to be and how to live into your purpose.

So that's all I have for you today. Thank you so much for tuning in and I hope you have a beautiful week.

From High Vibe Heather: 13. How Human Design Helped Me to Heal My People Pleasing Behaviors, Aug 8, 2024 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

• High Vibe Habits Newsletter
• Free Human Design Chart Calculator

If you have questions or feedback, I'd love to hear from you. You can DM me on Instagram @high.vibe.heather.

Music by: https://pixabay.com/users/paulyudin-27739282